How To Admit Your True Feelings
by Cinnamin-chan
Summary: You know I'm good at keeping secrets, Chekov. I won't tell a soul. Slash.


Hey there, readers! Robin here, with another fresh TOS story! I hope it doesn't sound too rushed or generic, and I really hope it's not too sappy! It's slash, so if you don't like it, then begone! If you do like it, however, feel free to stick around. Again, it's something short and sweet (I hope?), and I felt the need to write a Chekov/Sulu fic, so I did. And again, the title has "How To..." in it, so I get the feeling that this is turning into a series. I've actually started writing a few other things with the "How To" title, so I guess it is. Attention, Spock/McCoy fans: look out for my next fic! It's (hopefully) coming soon, so please keep an eye out for it.

Anyway, if you do read this, please review! And if you like it, let me know!

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****How To Admit Your True Feelings**

"Hey, Sulu..."

The tall Asian turned to face his friend. "Yeah, Chekov?"

"Do you ever vonder... vat it vould be like to get married?"

Sulu paused. "I imagine it would be wonderful. But I'm not ready to settle down yet, and I still haven't found the girl for me..."

"Oh, really..." Chekov commented, trying to sound like his heart hadn't sank at the word "girl".

"Yeah. It's just so hard to find someone, you know?"

"Mm-hmm..."

"How about you? Got your eye on someone?" he laughed, nudging the Russian and winking.

"Vell... kind of." Chekov set his hands on the table, tapping his fingers nervously. "But it doesn't matter..." he added quietly.

"Sure it does. Who is it?"

"I... it is a secret."

Sulu smiled. "You know I'm good at keeping secrets, Chekov. I won't tell a soul."

"But... I still can't tell you..."

"Why not?"

The ensign blushed. "Vell... um..."

"Aw, come on. At least give me a hint."

"Okay. It's somevun aboard the ship."

"Is it someone I know?"

"... Yes."

"Is it Uhura?"

"No..."

"Nurse Chapel?"

"Not her, either."

"Is it one of those new ensigns? I heard some of them are pretty hot..."

"No!" cried Chekov. "Now please stop guessing."

"Heheh. That just means I'm getting close, huh? Now, who could it be... There really aren't that many women on the Enterprise."

"Yeah..."

Sulu glanced at Chekov, giving him an odd look. "It is a woman... right?"

At this, the Russian turned bright red and started twiddling his thumbs. "Er... not exactly," he mumbled under his breath, keeping his gaze fixed on the table and lowering his head.

The helmsman gave a reassuring smile. "If it's not... I don't mind. To each his own, you know? Love is love."

"Thanks..." Chekov muttered.

"So who is it? Captain Kirk? I'm sure lots of people have crushes on him."

"The keptin? Eh, no... Besides, he is too promiscuous."

"Haha, you've got that right. I bet he's bi, he seems like he'd date anyone... How about... McCoy?"

"Too old."

"Spock?"

"Too logical!"

"Scotty?"

"Of course not! His heart belongs to the ship!"

"Well... is it... me?"

Chekov didn't answer but instead kept staring at the table. His heart started beating faster than it ever had.

"Chekov?"

"Um..."

"Pavel..."

The Russian turned a darker shade of red. "I..."

"Is it me?"

Chekov nodded slowly. "Yes..."

Sulu was slightly taken aback. "You... really? You like... _me_?"

"Yes!" blurted out the navigator. "I like you, okay?! I ken't help it! Ever since ve met, I knew that you vere a respectable person... You just... the vay you can be so cool under pressure, how dedicated you are, how nice you are... I've alvays admired you. And recently, I realized... that it vas more than admiration. Ve have been good friends, though, so I didn't vant to say anything... because I didn't think you vould still be my friend if I did. I didn't vant to ruin vat ve have now... I know I could not go on vithout a friend like you."

Sulu paused before responding. "Pavel, you should know that nothing like that could ever ruin our friendship. Friends care about each other, and I care enough about you to accept you no matter who you are. If you're gay, that's fine... If you like me, well, that's fine, too. But why didn't you tell me before?"

"I told you, I vas afraid that you vould get mad at me... and I knew it vould hurt for my feelings to not be returned. So I tried to hide it and thought that maybe it would go avay if I pretended that it vasn't true..."

"True feelings never die, Pavel." Sulu looked at his friend seriously. "You can't pretend to be something you're not. I know that from experience..."

"Vait... Sulu, do you mean..."

The helmsman nodded. "I've actually been hiding it for a while now... so, I know how you feel."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But, you know... it was getting really hard hide around someone as cute as you." He offered a small smile, placing his hand on Chekov's.

Chekov's heart was beating so hard that he thought it might explode in his chest. "M-m-me?!" he stuttered.

"That's right. Actually, I'm glad you said something. Because otherwise I would've kept this inside, too. I really should've taken my own advice earlier, but I was too scared. I've seen others get rejected and hurt because of their differences, and I grew up learning that homosexuality was supposedly wrong. I always wondered, though; how could something like that be wrong? It's love, regardless of gender... so why should it be treated differently?"

"How... how did you know that you vere... gay?" he said carefully, as though the word was forbidden.

"Well, for years, I had crushes on just girls. However, as I got older, I started to realize that I wasn't really attracted to them anymore... I started noticing the wonderful things about the male body. Don't get me wrong, women have lovely bodies, but a man's... there's just no comparing. My first crush on a guy was in high school. I made the mistake of spilling my guts to him, and the only thing I got in return was a disgusted look and a punch in the face. Thankfully, he never told anyone. Once I got to Starfleet Academy, I fell for someone else. We were good friends, and he seemed to like me, so even though I knew what could happen, I decided to go ahead and tell him how I felt."

"Vat happened vith him?"

"He said he'd try it, for me, but I could tell that he didn't feel the same. He apologized that he couldn't make it work, but after that, our friendship sort of... disappeared. I didn't want that to happen ever again. That's why I didn't say anything about it to you before. From then on, I decided never to tell anyone, especially not my family. So for years, I kept it a secret, and I never dared to look at another guy for too long."

"Did anyone ever suspect it?"

"I don't think so. It was hard to keep up the charade as a single guy, so I started dating random girls. It didn't feel right, because I didn't really love any of them, and it hurt to purposely break their hearts just for my sake. I didn't know what else to do, though. I didn't know where to turn or who I could talk to."

"Vell... if it makes you feel any better... now you do." Chekov grinned shyly.

"It does. It really does. Finally, I've met someone who I can relate to... someone who truly feels the way I do."

"I guess it vas a good thing that you are so persistent, then, da?"

Sulu laughed, his deep, rich voice sending shivers down the Russian's spine. "Heh, I guess so."

"I'm glad you vere, or else I probably never vould have admitted it... But, Hikaru..." Chekov decided to use his friend's first name now. "Do you mind if ve... keep this just between us for now? I'm still anxious about... coming out... to the other members of the crew..."

"My lips are sealed, Pav."

"Not for long, I hope," Chekov whispered, and before Sulu knew what was happening, their mouths were pressed together. Sulu's tongue gently pressed against Chekov's lips, which he parted eagerly, and he allowed the Asian to explore his mouth. Sulu licked at his teeth, tilting Chekov's head up with his fingers. Chekov gripped his other hand tightly, squeezing it when he felt a sudden tightness in his pants.

"Hikaru..." he breathed heavily, pulling away from the kiss for a moment.

"Is there a problem?" asked Sulu, a little worried.

"Sort of..." He gave a nod towards his crotch.

"I think I can fix that," he chuckled softly. "Come on, let's go back to my quarters." He gave his friend another kiss before he stood up, motioning for Chekov to follow.

The young navigator couldn't help but smile. Such a warm feeling, Chekov decided, could never be wrong.


End file.
